There’s no message more critical on a dating app than the first one; it can make or break you or even get you blocked. However, don’t let dating pressure in the digital age deter you: crafting a compelling message is easier than you might think. Start by considering the following dos and don’ts:
Do Use Humor; Don’t Go Heavy on Sarcasm
Humor is a great way to stand out and a quality many look for in a partner. However, this comes with a caveat: sarcasm over an app can backfire. It doesn’t translate well online because it relies on body language and vocal tone rather than words alone. The drier your jokes, the less likely they will be effective over the internet.
If you use sarcasm, clarify that what you’re saying is in jest. You can do this with emojis, asides, or a short but effective “LOL.”
Do Get Personal
People are much more likely to respond enthusiastically to personal messages and far less likely to engage with messages that feel like a copy-and-paste job addressed to ‘dear occupant.’ In your initial message, include the person’s name (or screen name), demonstrate that you have read their profile, and explain why you found it interesting. Effective opening lines express your genuine interest in the individual you’re messaging rather than giving the impression that you’re merely trying to secure as many dates as possible.
Do Ask Open-Ended Questions
One-word answers are the Achille’s heel of online dating, a death blow that ends a potential partnership before it begins. You can’t control whether the other person responds with a simple yes or no, but you can nurture a connection through open-ended questions.
For instance, instead of asking someone if they grew up in Colorado, ask them where and if they enjoyed their childhood. The latter cultivates conversation and gives you a chance to find commonalities. Who knows, maybe the person you’re messaging grew up in the same hometown as you.
Don’t Be Crude or Crude-Adjacent
Sexual tension, much like sarcasm, does not translate well in digital-age dating. As with most forms of intimacy, it’s more effectively experienced in person. While some attempts at being sexually forward online may be received positively, most come across as crude and off-putting. Women, in particular, tend to disapprove of this behavior; they are even less receptive to unsolicited intimate pictures.
Don’t Lay Out Your Expectations
Most people enter dating with specific dealbreakers and must-haves. Discussing these at some point is crucial, but presenting them too early is like shooting yourself in the foot. Revealing your expectations right away can alienate the other person and make you seem self-centered and inflexible, which are unfavorable in a relationship.
As the saying goes, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Follow these tips to improve your chances of making a positive first impression on a progressive dating site.
TruuBlue is an AI-powered dating app for socially progressive singles. Its focus on issues ranging from pro-choice, climate change, and gun control to immigration laws and LGBTQ protections empowers people to find partners with shared values and passions.
